Life is never easy...

how much I see myself understanding life could not be as easy as it seems..

throughout my life, who I met, what I saw or heard as experiencing everything ..

slowly.. I could never conclude something without any proof ..

all the things we saw or heard could be deceiving as the truth was never shown or told...

the only thing to solve the problems just by letting whoever started all this to know ...

that you stand strongly along with your friends who believed in you and were not influenced by any of it..

no matter how horrible things could happen or whoever started all these problems ..

will receive the reward which they deserve in return, the same way given to you ...

all you need is believe and forgive as well as forgetting how or what they did cause..

knowing that each one of us would go through all this just maybe in one particular time..

we will start to grow from all the mistakes we took and learn from all of it as we would not repeat again..

especially through the times we cried or being stubborn as well as angry towards the particular person ..

think twice or thrice whever did wrong, just take it and move on and blame no one

but yourself for trusting or caring .. 

I been there before as I fall so many times but I started to wake up and understand that it was never the worth for carrying the burden with me as it affects my emotions being so depress and angry as well...

All I know is I might did something they dislike and it would be fair enough as they did the same way..

God has only wanted us to love them and forgive them as in return they would understand one day the reason behind all this... so never give up to show them you are capable to move on and look forward without any influence from all that...

My dear friend, be strong and look forward .. although I am not in your close friend list but I will be there if you need a shoulder or listener.. ( Try to think that there are people much worst that what we had gone through )

XOXO

A New 2013 Year !!

It seems like my starting of New Year 13' was similar with last year ~~
For my 1st & LAST New Year Resolution's was to GRADUATE Degree safely!!~~
OH GOD ! Help me ! I beg of YOU ~~ 
but before the new year started.. on my 21st birthday were very casual and simple...
as you might have thought it would be like a BIG party since it is what you called 'Freedom' after all the years of waiting to be legal to do what you wanted without parents controlling..
I just made my very own birthday to have a dinner with my few friends literally.. and that's all ..
and yeah .... it sounds really sad in a way but that's what i wanted though ..
but deep inside my heart i actually wanted to have a very BIG party but just missing some good friends that were not beside me in uk~
I could have just cry if they appears in front of me especially during that time....
anyway, time just flies as it goes without knowing anything and what comes will come as what goes  will go ...
All i wish now is to fly back to Malaysia as soon as possible ='(

no end of life

This life is a game as you tried to do something to achieve the goal. You never had thought that as you tried to bring colours into our life; no one seems to be able to see it. No matter how much you put so much effort, it would turns out worst.

P.S: I will post my journey after my return from my 3rd trip as well as my memorial escape book to be updated ^^ For now, i only could just blog for a bit ><

back from summer break...

how short the time could it be..
just a blink of an eye it's already 2 months..
i hadn't done much things at all..
as i leave, i teared up out of nowhere..
as i saw how hard my mom cried.. insisted not to send me to airport..
finally understands it may be so hard for my mom seeing me off..
well.. i did not expected myself to cry but ever since i left home 3 years ago..
i had never teared up in front of my family and for once i did..

now, i moved in to a new home and everything seems different..
i would had thought maybe i could have been much happier though but...
it turns out vice versa... i don't know why i said that but i had that feeling of mine back in those days...
i felt as if i don't click with anyone at all.. i have no one to actually share to..
as i see my friends leaves one by one, the more depressing it becomes..
for now, i will be only locking myself in the room not going anywhere..

sometimes i just want to be found by friends but it seems like i'm just invisible..
all i can say is i don't blame anyone.. i blame myself for being selfish..
just wanting them to be by my side whenever i want them to be..

don't understand...

i really regret of telling you to work there..
why can't you understand?!!
i just want to spend more time with you..
it seems to be so hard!!! ugh!!
do whatever you like !
do what you think is BEST !!
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE !!!