complicated life isn't it??

there's no reason behind it ..
without words or explains ..
it's just something how you felt and it's totally different ..
you do not need to show it
or tell anyone about it ..
are you willing to do it?? .. so it's up to you ..
do what ever you want as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else ..
once you've done it, there will be no return..
no return of regrets after all the effort you've done
and the result was not as you've expected..
you have to learn to accept all the consequences ..
even it's not what you want it to be ..
life can be so unfair .. all we can do is accepting it..
I, myself also hates the life i'm having right now ..
but the only thing to keep me move on is .. .. ..
there's a lot people beside me, supporting me all the way till here ..
i must not let them down because of such little things..
look forward, moving on with only one reason ..
our life is full with bitter, sweet and sour memories ..
wondering I could remember those memories eventhough it's bitter and sour ..
knowing those memories is meant to be forgotten but ..
at least it's just a memory to remembered .. cause it already past..
well, as for sweet memories will always be remembered ~
because people tends to remember only the sweet times . .
treasures your friends whom also treasures you as well ..
eventhough there's conflict in between but think for a second ..
weren't you friends before? and you've shared so much memories with each other..
because of conflicts, everything has to be an end ??
then, at first .. .. .. why??
everything could be solved when one stands up and tells the truth ..

down ...... happy.....

i don't want the worst of me in the past comes back to me again !!
i had enough of it ad.. (GO AWAY!!!) I'm scared .. all those thoughts were much better compare to now.. the combination of the past and present is not going to be a good thing at all..
I hate it !! argh!!

somehow.. i really don't get what others want anymore.. including myself also..
why am i changing ?? I don't want it to be like now.. i really want to go back ..
standing without you all makes me got worst.. but i know you all were there by my side all along.. i will always treasure our friendships ><

to all my dearest friends and darlings, i love you all .. muacksssss .. hugsssss.. i'm coming back to meet you all soon .. hehe^^ i'll make sure i gonna make it for the 2nd of May ~ ~ wakakakazzzz.. I was shocked to received your message.. but i was really happy and tears just came out instantly.. it's been so long.. i thought you all forgotten me already.. but you all didn't ~ sooooo haaaappppyyyy !! =D

rubbish

i really dono what to say about ..
should i just die? and everyone would forgive me?
i know dying doesn't solve anything.. but really..
if it continues like this, i really gonna ***
due to the pressure that might occur through my neck..
the more things i think or depressed or giving myself pressure, the worst it will be..
it might slowly be a kind of sickness ..

(talking rubbish) ~ ~ haha

live to the fullest ^^

i'm happy with what i had :
1) family
2) relatives
3) friends
4) things i had etc..

i just like the way it is now.. just go as it flows.. and live to the fullest not regretting anything at all.. but if there's a way to turn back the time, i would want to go back to the past and have more fun than before ~ those days were the best .. i wonder if that day will come again.. haha xD i don't really hope much now.. 'cause now is different and slowly as time passes, eveything will soon change.. just like u blinked your eyes and when once you closed & opened your eyes, it's already past.. isn't that quick?!
well, now friends are important too.. whenever you go, friends are everywhere.. whether you chose the right ones or the wrong ones.. it's fate.. sometimes you had a friend you dislike but they're still your friend because you were once a friend to him/her.. even for a really short time.. no matter how your friend treats you.. just flows with it.. but there's time for each person limits.. 'forgive and forget' .. laugh with them, talks with them, have fun with them.. there's nothing wrong with it.. even if you know that... ... ... ( you know) haha ;x the most important thing is they still treats you a friend ~
loving your friends was never a wrong thing 'cause you love them as who they were.. you don't need to show it out.. from your inside..

...........................................

when you need someone to help you in your problem, you beg for their help and they helped.. once they're no longer useful for you, you throw or put them aside.. also, when you need for their helps again, you will feel regret after putting them aside without caring their feelings.. is everyone like that or is it only me doing it.. i think it's myself.. somehow i really don't know how to face them properly.. i felt like the most stupidest person in this world.. only know how to use people but not helping my own self nor helping others.. i'm sick of myself.. God, what is my life being here?? I really wonder.. no matter what i have done, surely it's a wrong thing.. and when it comes to making something better, it became worst than before.. i'm not surprise that most of the people dislike me and i admit that all i did is totally wrong.. isn't it better to just communicate through msn.. it's easier 'cause you won't see any unhappy, sad, angry faces and etc.. sometimes i thinks that God has given two roads to me but i don't know which road to take.. well, i rather not taking both of the roads and open another road by myself walking alone through that path without anyone ..