* + Ups & Down Life + *

long way to go ...

2011-06-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

it's been while since thn....
the undefined feeling towards so many things is so uncomfortable..
missing so many things which brings me back to the memories i had kept for years since thn ..
also regretting of what i have done back thn and wishing everything could change in ways..
but i guess is time ..
the time to leave everything and move on to what i'm gonna pursue..
but i will never leave my precious memories but bringing along with me towards ..
nor it's sweet, sour or bitter memories.. still.. nothing could change those past memories..
but to remember how it happens and why it happens .. happens because of who and what ...
i have made my path along this road and i know that this road would not be an easy road to walk on ..
but i will try eventhough there will be failure throughout the pathway..
we create our own pathway and make the road ourselves..
no matter what has gone wrong, stand up and walk as we face it..

to clear things up....

2011-05-05T12:18:00.002+08:00

sry to say this...
but can you stop being such a dip s*** ?!
it is just freakin' obvious when you did that..
i'm not blind nor a wall to you ..
since you are freakishly emotional disturbed, don't ever come and give that ignorance look of yours..
maybe it's because of some freakin' spoilers alert influence but hey !!
if that's what friends are for then we are DONE !!
and yes! you could superb-ly get people to support you ..
i could not agree much cause you are damn good at it ..
guess what?!
i know this may sound harsh but ...
there are times we think differently and act as well..
plus if this helps you to be happy .. do what you like then..
for once, pls .....
get a real life .. p.s: (sry for being a bitch to you)

这就是长大后的友谊

2011-04-14T19:38:00.000+08:00

伤感情的话我们不说，占便宜的事我们不做，小心翼翼地维系着友谊。

但还是搞不清楚，到底谁是真正的朋友？

我的就是你的，你要我就给你；你的决定我都无条件支持；你想去哪儿我陪你去哪儿；你想干嘛我陪你干嘛。

...因为我们是朋友。就这么简单。心情不好，发信息给她发短信。

多好，这样简单的友情。

长大后，我们不得不学着一个人吃饭，一个人逛街，一个人旅行，一个人看电影。

每个人都有自己的事情，忙考研，忙找工作，忙约会，没有谁愿意为你牺牲自己的时间。

每个人都有自己的喜好，没有谁愿意为了陪你做你想做的事而打乱自己原本的计划。

每个人都有自己的脾气，我们知道不应该去打扰、去要求，害怕听到拒绝的声音，更害怕看到对方为难的表情。

孤单吗。

受伤吗。

无助吗。

不解吗。

累吗。

那又能怎样呢？

这就是成年人的世界。

这就是长大后的友谊。

cranky days ='(

2011-03-31T17:35:00.000+08:00

as the days passed..
the more cranky i had been ..
i'm sorry for everything and i know..
the person you know has gone somewhere..
but i will assure you all that it will be back soon ..
just at this moment.. things were not as it seems to be..
i promise that everything will be back to the way it is ..
forgive me and hoping you all would understand and bear with me..
i know it will be hard but just for a while..
am truly sorry for the behaviour and attitude..
i don't even know what had happen to me at all..
it just goes as it flows ..
and to tell the truth .. i had this come and go feeling..
as soon it goes.. things will be back to normal ...

p.s. if i had said something you all disliked, a million sorry.. or just ignore me.. i'll understand =]

the time to say good-bye .......

2011-03-12T01:46:00.001+08:00

as we grew older...
we walk on our own road ..
our own path way ..
looking back ..
so much memories has passed on ..
missing it so much and don't felt like letting it to be gone..
those meories really brings back on how we first met ..
how we know each other and how we being so stubborn at times as well ..
also how many things we had done together ..
knowing you all were quite a short time but .
it's really enough for me .. i really regret of nt knowing you all from the first place ..
tears just fall when thinking of leaving this place .. such freakin' crazy memories ..
appreciating the times we had together ..

nw it's time to leave and say good-bye soon..
how hard to say it TT wishing the time would stop and turning back the time..
somehow the tears just fall thinking at times..
wanted to stay but can't .. ='(

i really love you guys so much.. muacksssss .. =3

photographing for a day ~

2011-02-16T06:05:00.001+08:00

Photoshots at DongZhen Temple

held by Photography Club

seeing through this kid smile made me felt happy as well..

he's so adorable.. he actually asked me to take photo of him ~

felt like hug and kiss him ><

this is random shot ~ seeing others smile isn't it great?!

they're the photography club member ^^

another shot of the girls ~ just love taking photos when no one notice..

sssshhh.... hehe =3

At I-City (Night Time)

held by Photography Club

the best shots ever taken ! it's so clear that couldn't take my eyes of it^^

this is what ends..

2011-02-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

when you said our friendship is forever..

it seems our friendship just ended there..

and it was never continued till then..

but you said 'forever'..

do you even meant for it..

it seems so easy to say right?!

do you even treasures the friendship we had?!

what are friends for?

thought even if being dislike, somehow you would forgives..

guessing that in the dictonary the word 'forever' doesn't exists..

been blaming myself for being so realistic..

this world seems unpredictable at all..

once wishing it were never happened or even started at first..

good-bye ..

undescribed person ...

2011-02-12T21:25:00.001+08:00

you are somehow ... i really don't know how to describe..
knowing that you're not stubborn but pretending to be one..
treating you as buddy also no use ..
i felt being treated as rubbish somehow ..
knowing you loves to ignore but through your face shows me that you hate it..
for goodness sake..
can't just for once you think that through before saying or doing it..
i'm sorry i said this but i really can't stand it anymore ..
i had a limitation of my own .. i don't say anything because i care ..
because you're my friend and because everyone deserves to be forgiven ..

( boredness ) freakin' bothersome mind..

2011-01-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

here i am...
sitting .. ..
standing.. .
looking around..
been thinking..
angry..
crying..
laughing..
those moments..
memories ..
was & were ..
the unforgettable times..
sour..
bitter..
sweet..
and.. the..
hardest thing is..
to leave everything behind..
and live to the fullest ..

unlucky start of the year ==

2011-01-03T09:15:00.000+08:00

it seems this new year wasn't that good as it looks..
i've thrown my flight ticket and was supposedly back to nilai yesterday night ~
now i have to postpone it to 5th Jan or maybe later a bit..
i regret of eating that 'bread'.. damn it.. if i didn't ate it, nothing will happen..
been food poisoned and couldn't eat proper meal as well as throwing up so many times..
hasn't been sleeping well too.. but after yesterday..
i felt better today ~ hope it gets better tomorrow and the day after ..
please take care of yourself everyone.. especially on food.. stay healthy as well ;D

way to move on..

2010-12-28T18:01:00.000+08:00

removing is that i can't bear to see anymore..
i'm so sorry but i had to do it .. and ad done it..
the more i sees, the more i felt guilty,
the more i felt sad, the more depressing i am..
is the only one way to cure ..
due to i felt sick of seeing you ..
not those sick but another meaning.. i hope you understand..
it's time say goodbye and ..
hope you've found the person you've loved..
i hope you'll be happy always..
as well as moving on no matter what going on..
g o o d - b y e . . . .

buzzing for years ..

2010-12-28T00:48:00.000+08:00

i bear towards you.. i don't say anything..
i play dumb & pretend nothing happen at all..
not that i want to say what..
but.. not to hurt you or has any mistaken between us..
sometimes.. each of us has a limitation .. we all have feelings..
yes.. i'm wrong.. i admit.. i'm sorry for my attitude which makes you so dislike or hate me..
i do understand.. i don't expect you to LIKE me but as friends ..
i know.. when there's a stain, it's hard to remove it..
i screw things and don't know how to say it out..
you might think i'm just saying crap or wanting attentions or pity from others..
i'm like this.. it's just me.. if i have done anything wrong, please do tell me..
i promise not to do it.. i try my best to do it lesser..
telling the truth.. i know what's on thoughts .. you could say ..
i can read what others thinking or wanted to say in their hearts..
i kept it silent because friends.. i treasures each and everyone ..
once i met you or talked with you, i remembers ..sometimes i might forget.. (i'm sorry for that)
of all .. i don't talk with you doesn't mean i dislike or hate you..
it's just that.. i have nothing to say to you 'cause i know i might say something wrong..
also, i, myself preferred others to start conversation to me than i start 1st..
most of my first impression is different compare with after knowing me..
you could say it's totally different ~
i laughs more and smiles more 'cause i don't want others to think differently..
and it seems like sometimes my smiles could look like fake ones..
actually.. i'm not faking it.. just that back then i don't smile a lot ..
and now i'm trying my best to smile and laugh more..
for everytime i did something wrong, i could not undone it at all..
eventhough i cover it with something.. but from the expression given..
it's always wrong ..others dislike me or hate me..
i hate myself MORE & MORE ..

ps: sorry for everything and if i said something which hurt your feelings here.. i'm truly sorry..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2010-12-25T23:02:00.001+08:00

sometimes i really need someone to talk to but..

not knowing who i could share with anymore..

someone who could be by my side always ..

listens and giving advice as well..

what i have been longed for so long..

am looking and still looking for the right person ..

just wanted to find at least one person and i will be satisfied..

why is it so hard to trust someone ?!

why can't life be easier ?!

just a close friend will be enough for me..

it's been long keeping inside..

just wanted to let it out for once that's all..

i really wanted to tell the WORLD that..

IS IT WRONG ?!..to share?! to tell someone?!

in the end .. the things u shared doesn't seems to be easy to overcome after that..

for all the years .. keeping it makes a heavier burden and harder to carry on..

ever think of giving up.. but.. it's just not the right way..

... .... .... ....

tang yuan ♨

2010-12-22T19:48:00.006+08:00

the above photo of tang yuan is with 'wong zao' in cantonese^^

well, as for this above photo of tang yuan is in syrup made with rock sugar

The Winter Solstice Festival or Dong Zhi 冬至 is one of the most important Chinese festivals which is celebrated by the Chinese and other East Asians between the 20th to 22nd December. During this time, the sunshine is the weakest, the day is the shortest and the night is the longest. Dong Zhi actually means that the winter was going to end soon. Why the Chinese were celebrating the festival, what so great about it???? According to the ancestors, we were celebrating it because the end of winter indicating the the spring was ahead. The farmers were able to back to their farm and working hard again, keep on producing food for the people again. That's why they were celebrating the festival. During the festival a special food must be eaten on that day called Tang Yuan.
The colourful Tang Yuan was my personal favourite during the festival. I enjoying eating it very much because of it's sweetness and the chewiness. During my younger age, my 'wai po' grandma used to tell me that eating Tang Yuan indicating we are one year older. They are some kind of story saying that we should chew the balls, we must swallow the whole things. well, if u can swallow then do so.. if u can't, please chew due to you might choke yourself .. bwahahaha xDDD
Traditionally, Tang Yuan are just plain colourful glutinous rice balls but nowadays they are readily available with peanut, red bean paste and black sesame fillings. Personally, I still prefer the authentic plain ones. hehe ~
haha ~ ate 'tang yuan' so much ^^ yummy ♨

˚˛ * _Π_。˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •˛
•˚ */__/ ＼。˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •˛
• ˚ ｜田田｜門｜ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛
…… ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶٩( -̮̮̃-̃)۶٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶٩(●̮̮̃●̃)۶٩(•̮̮̃ •̃)۶
提早祝福冬至及圣诞快乐

失恋不等于失败, 失恋是给自己一个翻身的机会

2010-12-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

当她不再爱你的时候，请不要失去自己的自信。因为爱一个人，并非她的美丽，而只是一种感觉。她让你有这样的感觉，于是你爱她。同样，她不爱你，也并非你不优秀。优秀，不是爱的理由。看看还有那么多爱自己的人，淡淡地微笑一下，也是异样甜美的。

当她不再爱你的时候，也一定要祝福她。有了爱，便不该有恨。爱是美好的。恨却丑陋。何必让生命中最美好的东西化作丑恶呢？也不要觉得不公平。关于离去。她失去的是一个爱她的人，而你失去了一个不爱你的人，却得到了一个重新生活，重新去爱的机会。

当她不再爱你的时候，请不要失态，虽然一段感情已结束，也有必要给对方留一个美丽的背影，必竟曾经拥有就是缘。与其让自己因憎恨而变得面目狰狞，不妨让自己更优秀吧！让自己出色一点，无论在外在或内在上，都要散发出一种可以勾动女人心的魅力，这样才有可能拥有另一段更美好的恋情。

当她不再爱你的时候，请轻轻拥抱一下回忆里的温暖，轻柔地凝视凋谢的温柔。

亲爱的，请你深深呼吸，一生的路上，铺满了爱的花蕾，总有那么一朵属于你，不是安慰你。而是，这是生生世世早已经注定的。

谁不想与她牵手到老，可缘份尽了，谁又拦得住。伤不伤心？伤心！难不难过？难过！郁不郁闷？郁闷之极！可人在江湖，哪个男人不受点这样的打击，失去的只是一段恋情，不应该再失去你自己，失恋了，别趴下！

乐观面对失恋

当失恋不期而至时，千万不要悲悲切切，更不要哭天喊地，应当庆贺，感谢对方拒绝了你。不是吗？正因为有了对方的拒绝，你才拥有了再度选择的机会！

正因为有了对方的拒绝，你才重新有了高度的自由。你再也无须为对方牵肠挂肚--如果说失恋是"失"，凭什么不能说失恋也是"得"呢！

惨烈的失恋固然是一种悲哀，但它更是一种摆脱。

不是有个挺不错的说法吗：砸碎镣铐闹革命！失恋就是这样一次最深刻的革命。不是有个挺振奋人心的口号吗：奴隶翻身做主人！失恋就是这样一个翻身的绝好机会。

失恋是什么？是告别糊涂重新走向了理智。

退而结网，学会进取

就算失恋是因为你的长相、或学历、或修养、或气质……不尽对方的意，人家向你出示了"红牌"，你也不必弄得一副很受伤很打击的样子。古人云：与其临渊羡鱼，不如退而结网。这是很有见地的。低不成而高又不就，如果你非得要求"高就"，现在能做的只有充实、提高自己。存优去劣，查漏补缺，扬长避短。静下心来，化伤感为力量，变压力为动力，不断进取，努力充实提高自己，而使自己日渐一日地完善、成熟起来，增强自己的吸引力和向心力。

随缘，东山再起

爱情可遇不可求。有缘则聚，无缘则散。没有爱情的时候，多充实自己，多培养兴趣，多参加集体活动，在活动中展示自己的"闪光点"。待时机成熟，缘分来了，也许是别人悄悄地靠近你，也许是你轻轻地靠近别人。不容易得到的不一定是适合自己的；容易得到的也不一定是不适合自己的。当缘分来了可不要失之交臂，缘分像机遇一样，需要自己好好把握啊！

或许下一个节目就是：有情人终成眷属！

其实，失恋只不过是人生中的一个经历而已。它绝对是丰富人生阅历的精彩篇章，有人身在其中，不知何去何从，那就任凭时间流逝，一定能迎来另一片安宁。很多时候男人会被这样的伤害伤透心，但其实往往是这样，身在其中难以自拔，跳出来或远距离的看它才能品出人生的滋味……

all of sudden thoughts..

2010-12-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

i know how u felt now.. it's really hard and ..
actually, you're a good friend to talk to.. but now.. i'm so sorry
forgiving me .. i know it's hard.. but i really hope for a new turn over..
i realy blame myself for everything .. losing u ..
is as if i lost something within my heart ..
i just wan to say .. i really miss you so much..
especially the time we talk and laugh and joke together..

what am i hoping so much for??
i guess there's no way of turning back..
the one and only way is moving forward and not looking back ..

sometimes i felt it's too late to regret ..
the last and only thing i wish is for you to forgive me..
and happy birthday .. to you ..
to where you go, i wishes your dream come true ..
also happy always .. smile all the way ..

everything in life...

2010-11-22T23:28:00.002+08:00

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." As we grow older, it gets harder to believe. It’s not that we don’t want to but too much has happened and we can’t.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back...

Don't cry for what might of been, don't live in the past. It was supossed to be forever, well forever never lasts. Lift your head and dry your tears, forget about yesterday. We had the time of your lives, but we must move on, let it fade away...

I’m starting to realize that ‘forever’ is just another one of those fairy tales that mothers tell their children to help them sleep at night. Nothing is forever. Life isn’t, happiness isn’t, love isn’t. Things end and people say goodbye and we have no choice in the matter. All we can do is sit and watch our lives ending one minute at a time... *..Wait for the person who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kinda of person who brings out the best in you and makes you wanna be a better person.

Wait for the person who will be your best friend, who will drop everything to be with you at anytime no matter what the circumstances. Wait for the person who makes you smile like no one else, and when that person smiles, you know that person needs you. wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and have no make-up on, but appreciates it when you get dolled up for ...and most of all, wait for the person who will put you at the center of his universe, because that's where you belong ..*

I'm going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everythings perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me. I love walking in the rain because then no one knows im crying.You ask me what’s wrong and I say nothing, but as a tear falls, I say everything...

Just when you think things can't get any worse.....they do. But....I've learned that life is like hour glass sand. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom, but all you have to do is be patient and wait for something to turn everything around....

To put it simply, I want to be part of everything of eveyone…

Smile. It's easier than explaining why you're sad^^

now?? or past??

2010-04-29T11:17:00.006+08:00

do you think life can be full of happiness ??
well, there is if you think of a way like that.. but not me..
God would not give us such an easy life.. if it's so easy, what were we meant for in this world to do?? but there must some challenges for us which were ways to learn our mistakes..
wishing for better life?? it could not be even better .. our lifes are fulls of hidden truth that you had never seen before..
there's lies you don't notice and when they're not lies, you think of it as lies ..
everyone and each one of us has their own hidden truth is that whether you want to show it at all.. but most of us don't .. beyond those fake smiles lies the real truth of all..
i agree i myself admit that i do fakes smiles and bad at acting .. why ?? ... try you think ><''
life can be so difficult when others were more sensitive than you thought they were..
believe it or not ?? !! i have no idea.. it's just some feelings of mine.. compare with college life and high school life?? high school would be the 'BEST' of all ~ there's freedom in college life but complicated.. the times when we're high school students were the most fun that we had ..

Friend & Acquaintance

2010-04-16T17:52:00.001+08:00

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.

It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless.

Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen.

Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it.

Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go.

Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud.

They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them.

They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

complicated life isn't it??

2010-04-05T03:22:00.003+08:00

there's no reason behind it ..
without words or explains ..
it's just something how you felt and it's totally different ..
you do not need to show it
or tell anyone about it ..
are you willing to do it?? .. so it's up to you ..
do what ever you want as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else ..
once you've done it, there will be no return..
no return of regrets after all the effort you've done
and the result was not as you've expected..
you have to learn to accept all the consequences ..
even it's not what you want it to be ..
life can be so unfair .. all we can do is accepting it..
I, myself also hates the life i'm having right now ..
but the only thing to keep me move on is .. .. ..
there's a lot people beside me, supporting me all the way till here ..
i must not let them down because of such little things..
look forward, moving on with only one reason ..
our life is full with bitter, sweet and sour memories ..
wondering I could remember those memories eventhough it's bitter and sour ..
knowing those memories is meant to be forgotten but ..
at least it's just a memory to remembered .. cause it already past..
well, as for sweet memories will always be remembered ~
because people tends to remember only the sweet times . .
treasures your friends whom also treasures you as well ..
eventhough there's conflict in between but think for a second ..
weren't you friends before? and you've shared so much memories with each other..
because of conflicts, everything has to be an end ??
then, at first .. .. .. why??
everything could be solved when one stands up and tells the truth ..

down ...... happy.....

2010-04-01T20:01:00.002+08:00

i don't want the worst of me in the past comes back to me again !!
i had enough of it ad.. (GO AWAY!!!) I'm scared .. all those thoughts were much better compare to now.. the combination of the past and present is not going to be a good thing at all..
I hate it !! argh!!

somehow.. i really don't get what others want anymore.. including myself also..
why am i changing ?? I don't want it to be like now.. i really want to go back ..
standing without you all makes me got worst.. but i know you all were there by my side all along.. i will always treasure our friendships ><

to all my dearest friends and darlings, i love you all .. muacksssss .. hugsssss.. i'm coming back to meet you all soon .. hehe^^ i'll make sure i gonna make it for the 2nd of May ~ ~ wakakakazzzz.. I was shocked to received your message.. but i was really happy and tears just came out instantly.. it's been so long.. i thought you all forgotten me already.. but you all didn't ~ sooooo haaaappppyyyy !! =D

rubbish

2010-03-26T19:13:00.002+08:00

i really dono what to say about ..
should i just die? and everyone would forgive me?
i know dying doesn't solve anything.. but really..
if it continues like this, i really gonna ***
due to the pressure that might occur through my neck..
the more things i think or depressed or giving myself pressure, the worst it will be..
it might slowly be a kind of sickness ..

(talking rubbish) ~ ~ haha

live to the fullest ^^

2010-02-25T20:29:00.004+08:00

i'm happy with what i had :
1) family
2) relatives
3) friends
4) things i had etc..

i just like the way it is now.. just go as it flows.. and live to the fullest not regretting anything at all.. but if there's a way to turn back the time, i would want to go back to the past and have more fun than before ~ those days were the best .. i wonder if that day will come again.. haha xD i don't really hope much now.. 'cause now is different and slowly as time passes, eveything will soon change.. just like u blinked your eyes and when once you closed & opened your eyes, it's already past.. isn't that quick?!
well, now friends are important too.. whenever you go, friends are everywhere.. whether you chose the right ones or the wrong ones.. it's fate.. sometimes you had a friend you dislike but they're still your friend because you were once a friend to him/her.. even for a really short time.. no matter how your friend treats you.. just flows with it.. but there's time for each person limits.. 'forgive and forget' .. laugh with them, talks with them, have fun with them.. there's nothing wrong with it.. even if you know that... ... ... ( you know) haha ;x the most important thing is they still treats you a friend ~
loving your friends was never a wrong thing 'cause you love them as who they were.. you don't need to show it out.. from your inside..

...........................................

2010-01-28T16:26:00.006+08:00

when you need someone to help you in your problem, you beg for their help and they helped.. once they're no longer useful for you, you throw or put them aside.. also, when you need for their helps again, you will feel regret after putting them aside without caring their feelings.. is everyone like that or is it only me doing it.. i think it's myself.. somehow i really don't know how to face them properly.. i felt like the most stupidest person in this world.. only know how to use people but not helping my own self nor helping others.. i'm sick of myself.. God, what is my life being here?? I really wonder.. no matter what i have done, surely it's a wrong thing.. and when it comes to making something better, it became worst than before.. i'm not surprise that most of the people dislike me and i admit that all i did is totally wrong.. isn't it better to just communicate through msn.. it's easier 'cause you won't see any unhappy, sad, angry faces and etc.. sometimes i thinks that God has given two roads to me but i don't know which road to take.. well, i rather not taking both of the roads and open another road by myself walking alone through that path without anyone ..

thoughts -

2010-01-19T01:58:00.002+08:00

having random thoughts are not actually good.. cause it makes you thinks too much ~ but in some other way.. it's alright..
well, people say it's bad to be more mature because you look old if you are mature.. but it's not being mature in a physical way, it's in a mentally way of thinking .. so it could helps you understand more on people and other things too.. whether it's a good thing or a bad thing ~
on the other hand, people ignores you doesn't mean they hate or put you aside lonely just like that.. it's because they might have things on their mind or their concentrating on something while you're trying to get their attention.. try re-considerate when those are really busy while you're disturbing them..
also, why don't you try thinking over something before you said it.. especially when you do not know what's going on in the middle of the story and ask that person to go away as in just further away from you or etc.. without understanding the situation and you already made the decision, you said that person is wrong.. some people will forgive what you're doing and don't care about it.. but what if you met someone the opposite of it?? and that person is very straight forward??
comes to having relationship is the hardest thing.. when that person is right for you then it's yours but if it's not.. please do not force it to happen.. it'll make it worst.. in this world now, you could see mostly couples together is because of either money, pity, friendship, or etc.. love must be lasting but there's times when it's only a short times ..
love is money? love is blind? what is love? do you even know?! ask yourself ..
life is not that easy as it is now.. only the past not present or future..
this is my opinion of thinking.. it might hurt your feelings for what i said.. but it's the truth.. think over it.. is this what you actually wants?

dedicated to my very dearest and beloved friend, D.W

2010-01-04T21:32:00.002+08:00

a door that has been closed for so long ..
and you've successfully opened it..
you're the only person to be trusted and believed; no other person can replace but you..
among everyone i knows, there's no one can be trusted & believed but 'YOU'..
sharing almost everything and didn't felt any regret at all..
all secrets were kept safely by you..
you're like a safe box that keeps things safely and only that person who ask you kept can opens it when it's safe..
a person like you is hard to find and i will never let go such dearest friend of mine ..
knowing you for only a year but those times were the greatest of all..
i actually wished..
"isn't it better if we've knew each other at the very young age?!"
when you're needed, you're always there by my side ~

take care & bless you^^
love you ♥ muacksss ~

Believing

2009-11-19T21:43:00.003+08:00

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be.

That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself

Friendship & Love

2009-11-19T21:23:00.002+08:00

18 things we need to know ~ ~

1. Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
2. Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
3. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
4. You can only go as far as you push.
5. Actions speak louder than words.
6. The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
7. Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
8. Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
9. A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
10. If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.
11. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there
12. True friendship never ends.
13. Friends are forever.
14. Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
15. Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
16. What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
17. NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn't that the truth?)
18. Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

- - times in life - -

2009-11-10T11:54:00.015+08:00

eventhough you're not treated as you most wanted them to be.. but as long as they're happy with it.. it'll be more than enough already ~ they've their own reason why they treated you differently. you can only smile along the way even it's bitter for you ..
we must learn to accept than denies it.. not to say it's wrong or right..
there comes a time in life

when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and
the people who creates it and
surround yourself with people who makes you laugh so hard

that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good.After all, life is too short to be anything but only happy..

..forgetting those words..

2009-11-10T09:45:00.005+08:00

i want to erase those words and sentence you told me ..

knowing those words was just trying to get my heart..
sorry to disappoint you that i'm not those kind of easy person to get..
you might think i've liked you before..
yes, i had..
but it's not those kind of feelings..
so don't take it seriously.. hope i didn't hurt or offended you by saying these things..
i wanted to forget you but i can't..

because you are once my friend ..
eventhough we haven't talk for a very longtime just like strangers..
but i hope to see you again as friend.. ^^

i will remember you who was once my friend ..
p.s: just want to forget those words you said that's all..

.. no comment ..

2009-10-25T03:13:00.003+08:00

once you're a friend before .. they'll always your friend ..
don't because of some misunderstandings affected the friendship between each one of you..
siding your friends does not help but making it worse when that is not even the real facts..
I do understand why do people stands for their friends all the time.. but sometimes you must try to accept the fact that everyone has their own opinion and that cannot be blame..

I, myself gone through all that ~
in this world there's no right or wrong.. it's just whether you believe it or not..
why not try 'to put yourself in their shoes' .. and it might help you understand more ..
why they say that? what i have done? have i hurt them? and etc..
all this question always comes up in my mind when I did something that hurt someone..

that's why we must forgive and forget.. eventhough you're blame for .. just ignore ~
knowing you're wrong, just apologize and try to change .. it might take some time..
why not try it than never..
.. everyone of us have feelings too ..
why not facing the problem in a proper way than an amatuer way..
*not to hurt anyone feelings* but why not try face to face by talking over it..
both sides also got their own reasons of wrong..

p.s. if something i said here hurt your feelings, i'm truly sorry but try thinking about it..

♥ complicated relationship ♥

2009-10-12T22:58:00.009+08:00

why do people thinks so complicated nowadays?

why not try putting yourself in other people's shoe so maybe you might understand what they're thinking ..

well, for those had relationship before doesn't mean they know what relationship all about, whereas for those never had any experience in any relationship knows what it means more..

sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we care about so much leaves, but the truth is it's not our loss.. it's theirs because they left the only person in the world who would never give up on them.. just do what your feelings tell you to.. think wisely.. when there's times to let go, you must let go of it and not holding it feeling guilty also regret about it..

(what i said might offended one of you who is reading this, i'm truly sorry 'cause this is my point of view)

tq for everything^^

2009-07-09T22:41:00.003+08:00

without you i really don't know what to do..
no matter how far we are apart, we are still very close.. through calls..
eventhough you are not by my side giving me a shoulder to lay on..
but i know that you still care as a very dear friend of mine..
thanks for listening to all my worries and problems;
also you cheers me up somehow when i'm depressed..
just by listening to your voice through calls makes me happy and glad.. :3
love you much.. muacksss ~

**maybe we could hang out when i get back to k.k. after the semester break.. hehe^^ **

Stand By You lyrics

2009-06-23T14:12:00.003+08:00

since the day you left without a word of goodbye;
i felt that the scenery around me has changed,
the promise i made, that i would become your everything;
and the incomplete memories, have also changed.
when you were crying by yourself back then,
if only had I run to you, you would still be by my side;
if i were given a chance, i would tell you once again that i love you;
but the words that contain my overflowing feelings, cannot reach you anymore.
cho: where are you now? who are you being with?
what kind of clothe are you wearing? what are you doing and laughing at?
i am right here. Even now, i am right here;
and i still believe that we will see each other again..

..... ...... this feeling wont change ..... .......

. . . . . you're the only one i'm thinking of . . . . .

Again and again it's you i see, with your hair tied at the back,
When i look back again it's someone i don't know, and everytime, i get disappointed;
and expecting me to say out your name.
Just the two of us being silly like that day by day;
i can't forget you, but the truth is, i don't want to forget you.
If it's in me to bluff, I won't need it (the lie) anymore;
I can't feel a bit of happiness, because you're not by my side..
No matter how hard i try, I'll end up crying and my tears just won't stop;
(cho)
Therefore I am right here, singing the song by myself;
Eventhough i don't have any reason to embrace this pain anymore,
I can't help doing it.
Even if i know that the days when you were by my side;
making my world shine won't come back again and no matter what will happen,
no matter how far I'm lost;
I never want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.
No matter where you are, no matter who you are being with,
no matter what kind of dream you are dreaming of, or what you are doing and laughing at,
I will be here forever. Even now, I'm right here believing in a day that we will meet again.

.. ... ...... this feeling won't change ...... .... ..

. . . . . . you're the only one i'm thinking of . . . . . .

( love the song.. it's meaningful and touching.. ) sang by Tohoshinki

white x'mas

2009-05-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

The street glittered with silver as rain becomes snow
I saw the dream colored future on that day of Christmas
I smiled at you on that sacred night
The tears overflowed, though I will love you forever, why?
Now the snow dances as they fall, and at the sky far beyond here
someone new is waiting, holding on to a feeling that will never fade
We smiled at each other in those days, we were not afraid of anything
But I hurt your kindness, on that day of Christmas
I searched for dream and hope, and I found nothing but lost
The sky I look up to is too high, I cannot hold on to it even if I can reach it, Why?
Now the snow dances as they fall, the unhesitating feeling of those days
Continues on to a new tomorrow, a story that will never return
Even though I will wonder as I start walking, but the snowflakes that melted in my hand
will comeback again someday and reassure my heart

.. frustative and problematic situation ..

2009-05-15T01:49:00.005+08:00

is this a punishment from God?
why do I care about what you said?
I really want to know what you think..
It annoys me when you do like this everytime..
I have feelings;
Do you even now how it feels?!
I'm a human being too.. to you I'm a wall..
why no one care for me?
why am I the one who cares about you?
I want to hate you for being like that..
somehow I really want to shout and said "JUST SAY IT"!! I CAN ACCEPT IT WETHER YOU HATE OR DISLIKE ME!!
Don't say it behind my back..
I know from the looks and the attitude you treated me..
I'm not blind.. I know.. I gone through this a lot..
I do not need your pity or whatever..
I know I'm a trash or rubbish to you..
when no one talks with you, then you come to me..
what am I to you? a friend? or what?
I really pissed off by this kind of situation..
you want to hate me, hate then.. I can't stop you..
you like me as who I am, then fine..
I need a 'BREAK' for a moment.. [-_-'']

ugh..

2009-04-27T18:35:00.002+08:00

"i'm sick of it already"
so irritated and annoyed.. so .. pissed..
i came back for what? i rather stayed there..
this is freakin' sick sick SICK!!
i don't even have those kind of mood already;
why can't I have longer time staying here..
so hard to spend more time ..
this is not what i wanted or wished :(

thinkin'

2009-04-18T00:55:00.000+08:00

i really don't get what do they want..
why is it so hard to communicate?
why are they so different from what i imagined?
tryin' to understand them.. but ..
i think i would become an annoyin' and irritated person;
by tryin' to know them more..
i didn't know it's much harder here than there..
well, i do admit i'm a lonesome and unsocialable person;
sometimes i think i talk to much too.. haha XD

- expectation in life -

2009-04-17T17:24:00.001+08:00

life goes just like that..
whether it's sweet, sour or bitter moments;
feeling tired, bored, exciting or maybe to be loved..
i don't know..
life is so complicated; hard to understand..
unsociable person like me is hard .. going through life here..
and always thinking what other thinks about me;
i wish they're just like my secondary friends..
easy and hmmm.. just fun to talk to..
or maybe i'm still new in this kind of environment;
i just wan to find someone that i trust and talk to..
as in always be there by my side sharing ~
how i wish there's someone..
i'm still looking for that person but .. haiz..
others might be starting to dislike me or hated me;
i do understand why.. i'm so sorry for being a 'busy body' though
or what i've been doing; i'm trying to get in to the topic but still . . no use . .
well, i guess it can be helped.. eventhough, i've gone through those but still .. haha XD